Being alone is the key to solving many of those problems that couldn't be solved socially (framework included)
Spend time with yourself alone with an intent to love more to see the magic within
"Be so rooted in yourself that nobody's absence or presence can disturb your inner peace."
—Unknown
I will not say you don’t need people in your life. You need them in every phase of your life. You need lovely people around you.
People will help you through your tough times by staying with you at every crucial stage of your life. They can be a reason for your happiness.
But some problems in life should be solved on our own, and to solve them we have to spend time with ourselves, i.e., being alone.
Problems that need to be solved on your own
Almost every problem in your life is to be solved by you. Whether it is your own problem or your professional, you are a major part of solving those issues.
People can help you with any life problem but won’t do it for you. And if they are doing it for you, they are not your people. They can endlessly hurt you in the future. No, I am not talking about your parents. I am talking about those who do it for you but want something in return. They will hurt you first with their words and ask for the return.
Here are some problems to deal with on our own:
Knowing yourself (your peace, your happiness and all)
Emotional stability (feelings, thoughts, control)
Financial stability (money mindset, knowledge, freedom)
Personal growth (confidence, mindset, wisdom)
And many more
Why the heck should I deal with these problems by myself?
Because you can solve your problems. No one comes and does it for you because everyone has their own shitty issues to deal with.
Problems are a major part of life, and you have to deal with certain problems at every stage.
Not every time a person will come and tell you, “Here is the solution to your problem. I’ve solved it for you.” Nobody is coming to save you. Dan Koe put it the best:
Nobody is coming to save you. Not your friends. Not your family. Not the government They can offer advice and tools. But at the end of the day, it's up to you to change your mind and act regardless of how you feel.
As you read, you can be offered tools and advice. But at the end of the day, it’s up to you, which means you are all alone, only with your problems.
Be less dependent on others and fully dependent on yourself
When you keep asking others for help and advice, it annoys them. It annoys you too. The only advice you need to hear is to do the thing because at the end you will be on your own.
Learn to do it by yourself. When you learn to do it by yourself, you stand out. You become less dependent on others and more dependent on yourself.
Now you know I can give you powerful frameworks and templates to solve a problem, and of course, I will give them to you, but at the end of all of this help, you’ll be on your own dealing with your problems.
A framework to solve your problems alone (after getting helped by others)
Take a piece of paper or a notepad (I would prefer paper, but you can take any of them).
1. Understanding the problem:
What is the problem?
Example: The problem is sleep deprivation.
Understanding the problem.
Example: Sleep deprivation can be caused by sleep disorders or simply daytime sleepiness or impairment. Understand what it actually is.
Write down the problem.
Now, take a piece of paper and write it down. Write about the problem after understanding it. For example, I am experiencing sleep deprivation because of this and that.
2. Asking the right questions:
Why is this a problem for me?
Example: Because of sleep deprivation, I cannot focus on important tasks and that’s a problem.
Will this problem hamper me for long?
Example: Regarding sleep, yes, it will hamper my work for a long time.
Is this a worth-solving problem?
Example: If I solve this problem, am I adding value to my well-being?
3. Seek out solutions and try them out:
Find out the solutions
Be smart, ask people, and read books. Do things where you can find the solutions.
Apply and iterate
Apply the solutions you've found, and see what's working for you. Keep applying.
Choose
Choose the best solution you've got from all the other solutions and stick to it.
See, at last you are all on your own. I am not there to make you asleep. You have to make yourself sleep all on your own.
Being alone is not loneliness. Being alone is to be happy without any other people, whereas being lonely is to be unhappy because you are not with other people.