A story of a boy who loved and friendzoned himself
Let me tell you the story
Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.
—Friedrich Nietzsche
Sometimes, love and friendship are the same; the difference is that love has no limits, and friendship has its own.
In today’s digest, we are going to dig into both love and friendship.
Let’s start with the story:
The story of a boy who loved and friend-zoned himself
It was a sunny day; a boy was going to school. He ate his breakfast and walked with hiccups on his chest. On the way, he saw a girl and kept staring at her like he hadn’t seen a person like her in his life. His hiccups stopped, but his heart started beating like a bell ring.
It was the day the boy didn’t sleep well. He was thinking about the girl, her pretty face, smile, expressions, eyes, and all. He was dreaming with his open eyes. The next day, he again went to school in a hurry to see the girl, but the girl was not there; it was a bad day for the boy. The boy again didn’t sleep well, and this time he worried about the girl like he had known her for years.
After many sleepless nights, the boy saw the girl in the market in a very beautiful purple V-shaped sweater; the picture of her in the dress stuck into his head. He wanted to talk to her, but he was afraid because he assumed that he was a very average boy who’d get rejected if he went and approached the girl.
After a few years, the boy overcame his fear of getting rejected and tried to approach the girl with full confidence, but he couldn’t, so sad. But one thing happened—something nice—the girl noticed him. And ask this to a boy—What happens when the girl you like notices you? Let me tell you about it: when the girl notices a boy, the boy goes into another world; he starts daydreaming about a beautiful world with the girl who noticed him. This same thing happened with the boy here; he went into some other world and started daydreaming.
Fast forward to a few more years. The boy finally approaches the girl and calls her by the wrong name intentionally because he wants to know her name. When the girl spoke, the boy fell for her voice and wanted to listen to her more. He got very attracted to her; he wanted her desperately in his life. In modern terms, you can say that he has a crush on her.
Again, fast forward to a few more years. The boy got the number of the girl and started texting her. The first text from him was ‘Heya 👋’, and the reply from the girl was ‘Who is this?’, the end, but not the whole conversation was ended. Furthermore, the next day, the boy texted the girl with a good morning message. And as we all say, the train is on the rail now (in Hindi: bhai ka train patri par chal para). But what happened next? Let’s read forward and see.
I feel we are somewhere in the middle of love and friendship.
—Unknown
The conversation was going well among them, and they started spending more time together. They seemed to be made for each other; they started holding hands, and they were attracted to each other a lot. They started meeting each other regularly without getting bored. They were good friends.
Wait, what? Yeah, they were somewhere in the middle of friendship and love. It’s because they thought they were in love, but actually, they were only attracted to each other; you can call it infatuation. You know when a person is fully desperate for someone, then that someone will use the desperation against that person only. Exactly, the same happened here also. The boy was so desperate for her, sometimes insecure, and many times possessive. The problem starts when the girl starts using these things against the boy by downing the boy’s self-respect. The boy knew that he was being used, but still, he stayed because he thought this was love. The big problem started when the girl started showing up only when she wanted something or needed the boy for help with money or something else. The boy knew that this was not what he wanted, so he stepped back.
The boy was smart. He knew that he was being brutally used. He knew that he was losing his self-respect. So he took a big step; he started saying ‘NO!’ whenever he felt he was losing himself for the girl. And finally, he realised that it was not love; it was just a game of attraction and infatuation. So, they were good friends because they showed up like friends; they cared for each other like good friends do. Again, a problem started in their friendship as well because they were somewhere in the middle of love and friendship or friendship and love.
This means the boy and the girl end up not being good friends as well. Yes, they were good friends when the boy was unaware that he was being used. After the realisation, the boy stopped caring for the girl as a friend as well. So, now both of them fall in the middle of love and friendship, i.e., they are in the stage of friendship where people show up in a year or years to wish each other ‘Happy Birthday’ only.
The boy then got stuck where he was and the girl moved on. After many iterations, the boy realised that he was in the trap of finding the right person. After a year, the boy gets the best advice from the best relationship coach and author, and it can also be the bottom line of the story.
Bottom line: The key to succeeding in a relationship is not to find the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.
In my Way:
Love is not about finding the right person; it’s about becoming the right person.
—Simple Digest
Let’s become the right person together.
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Happy Sunday :)
Wish you a very Happy New Year in advance 😊
P.S. I’ve built a year-in-review template for the year 2024; you can grab it for free by clicking here.